Retirement is for babies; a tribute to Brett Favre

Brett Favre should play professional football until his heart stops beating.

The fate of the Minnesota Vikings quarterback has been a heated topic for the last week and it seems every single commentator paid to commentate on the Nauseating Football League has suggested it’s time for Favre to retire (again).

It makes me sick!

Brett Favre does not retire. Retirement has no place in Brett Favre’s vocabulary. If retirement made a collect call to Brett Favre’s house, Brett Favre would not accept the charges.

Brett Favre is a legend, future hall-of-famer, Pro Bowler, Super Bowl champion, Wrangler jeans spokesperson and recently, nude model. He has left a lasting impression on the Vikings, the New York Jets, the Atlanta Falcons and that Wisconsin-based team he use to play for.

Favre has earned the right to play pro football for as long as he wants. Who cares if he’s 41-years-old? Age is just a number. If he wants to play well into his 50s, 60s, 70s and yes, 80s, then he should be allowed to. The “he’s too old” argument is nothing more than age discrimination.

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Some feel Favre should not play because of a recent injury. Let’s be honest, it’s just two fractures in his left ankle. That’s nothing!

Sure, a non-Brett Favre person would need a few weeks to recover from two fractures. But non-Brett Favre people aren’t Brett Favre. He’s a quick healer. And even if he’s not healed, he’ll still play because he understands that pain is only temporary.

Favre should play, regardless of any injury. He’s not a wimp like Joe Theismann, who retired after his leg was broken in a few places by Lawrence Taylor. If Favre was in Theismann’s shoes, he would’ve stayed in that Monday night game and played for a hundred more years. The “he’s hurt” argument is nothing more than health discrimination.

If the NFL cannot recognize Favre’s talent, there are plenty of other leagues and teams that would welcome him.

The Canadian Football League would be a great destination for Favre. He would be a perfect fit in Winnipeg. If the CFL returns to Ottawa or expands to the Maritimes, those teams would gladly consider Favre as their starting QB.

There’s also the Arena Football League. Smaller fields, controlled climate; it would be like working and taking a vacation at the same time.

There are endless options for Favre – United Football League, Empire Football League, Northeastern Football Alliance, etc. There’s even the Lingerie Football League! In fact, I challenge anyone to give me one good reason why Brett Favre shouldn’t be allowed to play in the Lingerie Football League.

So to Brad Childress, the rest of the Vikings coaching staff and all the NFL commentators: You all need to get off your high horses and step down! Brett Favre is the result of AWESOME and LEGENDARY making love.

No matter how old or how hurt he is, Favre should start every single football game he takes part in. Even if he needs a walker to get from the locker room to the field, he should be allowed to play without any hesitation.

Seriously, what’s the worst that can happen?

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